The Rockets watch too many teen movies

Someone call the screenwriter for "She's All That"--the Houston Rockets are stealing your material.

Nearly a decade after breaking Rashard Lewis's heart by breaking their draft promise, the Rockets are trying to worm their way back into the hometown boy's good graces. The team announced plans to pursue Lewis, one of the NBA's top free agents, in a sign-and-trade and are hoping "Rashard would be motivated to come." Various BallHype readers were curious over why the Rockets went so public with their courting; I think, given how the Rockets messed up with Rashard on the first go-around, they're hoping that demonstrating their affection will win over Rashard's considerable local fan-base.

Now, we've all seen this before. It's like breaking up with your girlfriend, but showing up with flowers and a mariachi band at her apartment a week later. How can she not take you back?

But if we're talking karma, the Rockets must do more than go to a local TV station; just to get started, we're talking billboards, newspaper ads, and a Yao Ming-installed Garmin system in Rashard's Escalade. Because the team absolutely, historically, and totally publicly blew it with Rashard in 1998. With three first-round picks--and a promise to take the local high school star--the team took the immortal Michael Dickerson (#14), Bryce Drew (#16), and Mirsad Turkcan (#18). Granted, Dickerson was having a decent career until injuries derailed him. But Drew and Turkcan? Two big arguments for a Lemon Law in the draft.

Meanwhile, Rashard sat and sat in the Green Room, crying in front of a national audience until the Sonics saved him in the second.

But now--like Freddie Prinze Jr. dumping Rachel Leigh Cook before the prom, only to realize his big mistake (which required her just taking off her glasses, but I digress)--the Rockets are trying to make up for their ill deeds. We erred, GM Morey is saying. Be like every do-gooding, dumped sweetheart like in Say Anything. Come back to us.

Of course, this only happens in teen movies. In real-life, any self-respecting funny-looking girl rejects the jerk, grows up and turns into Denise Richards, while the high school quarterback balds early and works at the car dealership. The Rockets don't deserve a mulligan on Rashard Lewis. And if Lewis is any kind of tough-minded, motivated NBA player, he won't give them one.

(Tip of the hat to ShoutFan for first picking this up).

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posted by Doctor Dribbles @ 20:11,


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