They Make Them Out Of Power Drills

The editors of We Rite Goode have quickly established their product as a veritable Mecca for athletic pilgrims. Pedro is here to divert all you seekers from your path through the desert, perhaps by leading you to the faux-paradise of Abu Dhabi instead.

Why? Because a mechanical revolution in sporting is currently taking place in the UAE - robot camel jockeys. Camel racing (think NASCAR, but with more spitting) is an age-old tradition in Arab lands. However, it is a dangerous sport, for as the mounts bound around the race-track, they sometimes hurl their unfortunate riders to the ground.

The early promoters of camel riding, taking a cue from the 19th-century Captains of Industry, began using seemingly-expendable children as their jockeys. These riders were sometimes kidnapped before being imprisoned and kept malnourished so as to lighten the camel's load. Human rights groups became noticeably disgruntled with this practice, so inventors have recently begun hyping a replacement to the child jockey - a power drill.


Well, not just any power drill. One with a whip attached where the bit used to be. Unenslaved drivers then speed around the track in SUVs (probably Hummers in Abu Dhabi) with remote controls to guide the power-drill-and-camel team to victory. It is a merging of animal and machine not seen since the days of camera-toting pigeons.

Of course, as New Scientist has noted, logical development of this technology could have fearsome consequences. What if the human element (remember, the RC racer guy in the gas-guzzler) is removed, and the robot jockeys are programmed to guide themselves!? Asimov could not have dreamed of a scarier scenario.

(Update: Pedro's powerful prose could stand alone, but "robot camel jockeys"...well, it just cries out for a video clip--Crucifictorious).

posted by Pedro Cerrano @ 07:35,

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