How can DC be a dismal sports town? We've got Steinberg!
Monday, June 25, 2007

Anyone who's read We Rite Goode these past weeks knows of our man-love for DC Sports Bog's own Dan "D-Steinz" Steinberg. The man is a multimedia powerhouse--Blogs, YouTube, TV. Oprah, watch out!

Of course, what transformed mere respect for Mr. Steinberg to full-on admiration was his selection of a WRG post--the ill-titled "Yet another reason for fast-food cashiers to love their jobs"--for the top spot in "Today's Top Five," his semi-frequent blog round-up. However, that was last Tuesday; shortly thereafter, Mr. Steinberg abruptly abandoned his post, most likely to get his head examined, if not to pick daisies until today. As a result, our post has sat atop the DC Sports Bog's page for a week...which we choose to interpret as Señor Bog's tacit recommendation that WRG has been a must-read for seven straight days.

Sir, we salute you. Your taste may be poor, but your generosity to young bloggers knows no bounds.

So it was with some disappointment that we learned of one "CBS Sportsline columnist" calling our fair city "comical" when it comes to the sporting front. Sure, the Redskins haven't been relevant for a decade, and yes, the Nats are suffering the predictable woes that make them Ex-Expos. But we've got a basketball superstar in Arenas, a flashy scorer in Ovechkin, a soccer powerhouse in United...and some of the best sportswriters. In part because the WaPo staffs the deepest lineup since the 1927 Bronx Bombers. Quite frankly, Wilbon, Feinstein, Mike Wise et al. wouldn't be as interesting without each other--you read the paper every day, you get incisive sports commentary. And can you imagine Kornheiser's shtick in Dallas or Miami? There's a certain je-ne-sais-quoi that would be lost...

(Not that we're against those cities! It's a stupid exercise by the columnist, who we won't link to to boost his readership, but speaks to the current sports wasteland between the NBA Finals and NFL season. Pundits need something to pund-ificate on.)

Plus, we've got Mr. Steinberg running all over town expanding the various sports options. Did "CBS Sportsline columnist" factor in poetry when slamming DC? Or was he too underhanded to include our professional softball team? And how about the shooting rise of our rock, paper, scissors scene?

(Yes, we submitted the RPS post to DCist too. Like the Beach Boys, we're trying to get around.)

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 18:04, ,


Yet another reason for fast-food cashiers to love their jobs
Tuesday, June 19, 2007

As a public service, WRG wanted to draw the attention of all college students/unemployed liberal arts majors/bloggers to the following promotion, courtesy of California Tortilla--a Mid-Atlantic company, naturally, that's our answer to Taco Bueno.

Sure, some SI columnist recently wrote about it, and a kooky art collector--is there any other kind?--used rock, paper, scissors to pick an auction house for his $18 million sale. But the game hasn't really been in vogue since, oh, 2004. (Although it did make for some great sports writing that we'll be reading for decades no doubt. Here's some breathless coverage from the New York Times.
My opponent and I faced each other across the white lines, separated by an arm's length in the dark, smoky bar. He planted his feet firmly, shoulder-width apart, while I fell into a fighting stance, right foot forward--a natural response from years of tae kwon do. The referee stood between us. The crowd looked on expectantly.

The rules were deceptively simple--rules that people all over the world grasp as young children.

Paper covers rock. Rock crushes scissors. Scissors cut paper.
Wow, whatever could have happened next?! Did the opponent throw...paper? Or maybe he threw...scissors?! Ah, the suspense is killing me.)

But at WRG, we won't pooh-pooh free stuff. Especially when it relates to tacos.

Naturally, every media outlet that ever covers RPS, as the in-crowd knows it, wants to give Joe Reader tips to fix the game. (For shame, NPR.) Even the Washington Post got in on the strategeizing this week, although their advice is conduct a spontaneous Myers-Briggs test.

But as you head to one of California Tortilla's locations, forget the paper of record and its followers. While Doctor Dribbles knows how to handle the rock, he also knows a few things about when to throw it. A few tips, culled from years of barroom experience spent nervously avoiding the opposite sex.

1. Tell your opponent that you're going to throw, say, scissors right before it's time to shoot. With only a second or two to think, he'll instinctively avoid whatever loses to scissors (paper) and probably throw scissors to tie or maybe rock to try and beat you. You run pretty good odds of winning, or at least tying, if you throw rock.

2. Give off false tells. Straight out of poker. Nervously clench and unclench your hand--you're screaming paper all the way. Then come in with the rock to nail your opponent's scissors. Ka-blam! (That is the sound that scissors make when smashed by a rock, I'd imagine).

3. Don't stare at your opponent for a minute and then throw rock.


You'll scare people. And probably won't get the $1 discount either.

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posted by Anonymous @ 00:58, ,


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