Moore youth on the roster

The headline is about the veteran, but there's actual promise in the prospects. In a development totally foreseen by We Rite Goode's crack baseball staff, or just about anyone who's watched the Orioles lose nine straight, Baltimore P Steve Traschel was dealt to the NL Central-leading Chicago Cubs for P Rocky Cherry and 3B Scott Moore.

Yeah, it's a little fishy when one baseball exec (Baltimore's Andy MacPhail) shepherds a player to his protégé (Chicago's Jim Hendry) for the stretch run. The teams play in different leagues, Traschel wasn't necessarily coming back to the O's...thinking goes that guys like to help each other out, so what's an aging vet for a few spare parts?

Which is why acquiring two serviceable players--if not one high-potential youngster--is a nice little coup for the beleaguered O's.

We don't know much about Cherry, an ex-starter who's been an OK reliever in his 15 major league innings, but Moore is a pretty talented guy. He was a first round pick by Detroit in 2002, and at 23 years old, just put together a very solid AAA season (19 HRs, 68 RBI, .897 OPS in 311 ABs). Moore's historically been an error machine at third, but in the homer-happy American League, who cares about defense?

This isn't to say Moore should start tomorrow--although we could do with a little less of Mora, not to mention thoroughly enjoy the comedic potential of that platoon--or the O's shouldn't turn around and deal him to someone else, but a solid chip for a waiver-wire deal.

(Look, we're not proud to write posts about a kid who's more likely the next Jeff Manto rather than Brooks Robinson, but we O's fans are desperate right now. The team just wrapped the worst 10-game homestand in its history. Permit us something to latch on to.)

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 16:20, ,

Even Bedard misses his PS3

It's Mediocre Month at We Rite Goode...where in the spirit of things, we're only devoting two weeks to celebrating lousiness. But let's face it: The Baltimore Orioles' recent performance isn't just mediocre. It's unbearably, eye-bleeding awful. And we thought the last ten years were hard.

So...kind of a bad week for the Orioles, hmm?

Let's rewind and mourn together.

* Tuesday: Presumptive AL Cy Young winner Erik Bedard pitches six shutout innings, only to give up two earned runs in the seventh. He strikes out just 11, too, with no walks and five hits. OK--you caught us. Of course, this was a great game. But we fear, perhaps, it was too great...the subsequent utter awfulness didn't allow any O's fan to simply anticipate Bedard's next start. No, we were positively drooling for his return to the mound. More on that later.
* Wednesday: Let's overlook the historic drumming and focus on game 2 of the double-header. The O's first dig out of their early hole, and then rally to lead in the bottom of the the bullpen goes out and blows the game in the top of the 8th. 9 runs to a light-hitting Rangers team? Inexcusable.
* Thursday: After the double-header embarrassment, it's a "new day," so the O's find a new way to lose: Don't get any hits off Boof Bonser--he of the 5-10 record and 4.93 ERA--and boot the ball a couple of times.
* Friday: 14 the bad guys. And Justin Morneau breaks his 28-game homerless streak. Bye bye home run ball, bye bye Jeremy Guthrie shutout and victory.
* Saturday: I'm not even sure what happened here. Did anyone even show up, other than a stand-in pitcher snatched from AA-ball? Did the O's just forfeit the game?
* Sunday: Alright! Presumptive leading Cy Young candidate Bedard on the mound!! Going for his 11th straight win, the team record in Ks!!!, spirit of Kenesaw Mountain Landis, have mercy. Not Bedard too. And the fans on Camden Chat were so optimistic.
* Monday: Orioles rest, think of clever ways to drop games against awful Tampa team. Warning, Angelos--bringing in Kyle's cousin only will disappoint.

Hey, Peter Schmuck of the Sun is convinced that this is just some prank gone wild, a hazing for new full-time manager Dave Trembley. And by the power of Wee Willie Keeler, we wish it were so. But more likely, we're nearing talk of 4-32, powerfully depressing numbers in Oriole parts. Which means, it's also time to "look to the future."

Ach bin berliner!! Record blowouts, late-game collapses, obsessing over prospects. When did the O's become the Kansas City Royals?

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 09:28, ,

A Greivis oversight

Basketball fans all over the country got an eyeful of Maryland guard Greivis Vasquez, when he started for Team Venezuela against Team USA in the FIBA championships last week.

And all things considered, Greivis acquitted himself well. 12 points to lead squad Hugo Chavez. A decent compliment from Phoenix Suns GM Steve Kerr on the "B.S. Report." But totally overmatched (3/11 FGs, 4 TOs)...obviously when facing a team of NBA all-stars, but especially given who was across from him.

Courtesy of FoxSports, a fun backstory.

You’ve seen the way Kobe has been getting after it on D in the Olympic qualifying tournament, right? You don’t even know the half. Word is that before Team USA’s opener against Venezuela, Mamba was actually studying game film of opposing point guard Greivis Vasquez, who played at Maryland last year. Just what a college sophomore needs — the best player on the planet not only on his butt like cowboy jeans, but treating the assignment like it was the NBA Finals. Greivis told the L.A. Times, “I don’t know how to explain it. That was amazing.” He added, “All of a sudden, he was guarding me like it was the last game of his life. I’m 20 years old…It was tough…But tomorrow’s another day. It’s all good. I’m glad it happened.”

Kid's got spunk. A better night was Sunday, when he led Venezuela to the second round with a near-triple double.

Greivis is the #1 reason I'm excited for Terps basketball this season...although doesn't share my enthusiasm. According to their esteemed staff, Maryland's #48 in the preseason rankings, smack between George Mason and West Virginia. I just can't see it. The Terps bring back James Gist (a member of the U.S. Pan-Am team), Eric Hayes (a poor man's Steve Blake), and Boom Osby (a destitute man's Ben Wallace)...yeah, not exactly UNC '05, but certainly a talented core that should be top 20 in the country.

Well, whatever. Who's anyway? I don't know those kids. From happy days as a Terps fan...

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posted by Doctor Dribbles @ 12:24, ,

Steve Holt Ole Miss is a sad sack

Huge sports fans here at We Rite Goode. Basketball, baseball. NASCAR. Camel-racing. Love 'em all.

But in the vast sporting firmament, there are some spectacles that we are condemned to enjoy from afar...certain passions that we can follow with interest but never warrant true believer status. Such is the case with SEC Football; it runs in the blood of a Warren St. John or Orson's not the province of us snarky Northeners.

But sarcasm, neurotic humor, and hipster favorite critically underrated TV shows? Yes, we identify with "Arrested Development" on a pretty deep level. Not to mention, Mr. Jay Tibbs is a dead ringer for George Michael.

So thank goodness for the fantastic Joe Cribbs Car Wash's guide to SEC football, which uses Lucille, Tobias, et al., to explain a conference that's often as alien as Motherboy to us.

For example, G.O.B. = Arkansas?? Now we understand the whole brouhaha over Houston "I demand to be treated with respect" Nutt.

For the rest of you who just want Arrested Development highlights, here's your fan service.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 21:49, ,

Hungry for some football!!! And a rodeo cheeseburger

The signs of the NFL preseason surround us. No-name defensive ends are delivering unnecessary hits. Ray Lewis has yet to knife anyone. Peyton Manning is skipping practice to film eBay commercials. Yes, it's still lame, mediocre August. Hence the current blog title artwork.

But sniff that hot, humid air--feel that late summer chill? It's the Ravens defense, about to freeze Carson Palmer in mid-read, ready to keep Ben Roethlisberger on ice. It's September in two weeks. And it gets us so excited for the season, we feel like dancing.

Actually...more like this kind of dancing.

Ok, maybe we're not going to dance this time. But, thank the lord that September is around the corner.

Also thanking the lord:, via the below -awesome- highlight package. Or perhaps they've taken a new savior...or have a special marketing deal...the heavenly message is unclear from this superior video. But that sort of nuance is why they're in the praying business and we're in the watching football in our underwear on Sundays business.

Update: Apparently, The King's college eligibility was not exhausted! Courtesy of fellow blog So Good, one of the highlights of the Terrapins' deceptively mediocre football season in '06...a special visitor down at FSU.

(But the audacity to ask for money at the end of the video? Kids these days...if you can't pay the fine, don't seek the airtime.)

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 22:37, ,

Not mediocre: Erik Bedard

As you may have noticed, We Rite Goode doubles as a support group for a few long-suffering Orioles fans. Earlier this year, fan #1 Mr. Jay Tibbs explained why we need to show Big Love to Jeremy Guthrie. Doctor Dribbles is no doubt preparing an homage to the perennially lousy Steve Traschel.

But there's a bigger arm on that pitching who last month threw the most dominant game (by game score) in the past five years.

Of course, we're talking about the O's Erik Bedard--the current major league strikeout king and, for my money, the best pitcher in the league.

Yes, I'm a biased O's fan; I'll seize whatever good news I can find. But the numbers bear Bedard's superior-ness out. Beyond the Ks, he's in the top three in the league for WHIP and ERA; he may not have the wins, because of a terible bullpen, but the winning percentage of .750 also is sterling.

However, I'm not going to spend much more time writing about Bedard, when someone else has already done twice as good a job. Over at Vegas Watch, there's a very excellent profile of the Canuck-leballer.

Bedard next pitches on Tuesday. Go O's.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 23:18, ,

If Ankiel can come back...

It's Mediocre Month at We Rite Goode...where in the spirit of things, we're only devoting two weeks to celebrating lousiness. Yes, as August limps to a close, we shuffle along with it, thinking of the most awful-yet-great athletes who made us grin or, more likely, groan. I'll let Jimmy Chitwood take it away...--Crucifictorious

How does one recognize memorable cases of mediocrity? By definition, it seems impossible. The most exposure I had in dealing with mediocre athletes growing up was, naturally, collecting baseball cards. My interest in cards peaked in 1989, when I must have purchased dozens of packs of 1989 Topps cards at the legendary local discount store of my hometown (I'll spare you the suspense and tell you the store has passed away into memories). I can picture the '89 Topps design perfectly, from hours of staring at card after card in my room after ripping open the package and finding a couple dozen nondescript, no-talent ass clowns (at least by major league standards). Even my once-prized Ken Griffey Jr Topps Traded 1989 #41T is now worth only $4.86, according to Beckett. Don't feel bad for me; if I sold that card, I could buy 1.64 gallons of gas at the Circle K. That ain't too shabby.

Anyhow, I admittedly had to consult the web to select my perfect paragon of mediocrity from the 1989 Topps set-- a card that I had several of, with high hopes for stardom. You're in luck, Gregg Jefferies Future Star! As a 9 year-old kid, if Topps tells you a player is a Future Star, you tend not to question it. This Jefferies guy was destined for greatness. He's going to break through one of these years. You gotta believe!

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posted by Jimmy Chitwood @ 17:22, ,

Suckiness is contagious

I hesitate to take credit...but there's indisputable proof.

We've started a trend. Forget Garnett and Allen in Boston; move over, Brandon Webb and Ichiro. All over the blogosphere, writers are playing up the more, shall we say, "lousy" professional athletes. This "month two weeks of mediocrity" thing is catching.

Look no further than the Washington Post's Michael Lee, who recaps Jarvis Hayes' DC career, so much as it was, and wishes him well in Detroit. Like Lee, many will note that Hayes is the latest ex-Wizard to become a Piston (Rip Hamilton, Ben Wallace, Rasheed Wallace, and C-Webb among the more recent to swap uniforms)...Joe D is probably hoping he works out even half as well as any of those guys. Jarvis was a textbook disappointment; a lottery pick whose game (midrange jump shots) seemed perfectly tailored to a NBA niche. Lee thinks that injuries held him back; I think it's because he couldn't make an open shot, but that's just me.

Meanwhile, at MVN's Taking it to the Rack, Steve Weinman (a Doctor Dribbles favorite) goes all...critical?...about Adonal Foyle. I'm not sure we need to hate on Foyle. The man is super-skilled--at stealing Chris Cohan's money.


posted by Crucifictorious @ 14:31, ,

The myths of mediocrity

It's Mediocre Month at We Rite Goode...where in the spirit of things, we're only devoting two weeks to celebrating lousiness. Yes, as August limps to a close, we shuffle along with it, thinking of the most awful-yet-great athletes who made us grin or, more likely, groan. I'll let Pedro Cerrano take it away...--Crucifictorious

Mediocrity, especially in baseball, has many definitions. Some players are simply average to below-average at everything they do. They do little more than fill roster spots and clutter a boy's card collection, prompting his mother to sell the whole shoebox for $5.

Other players might be a flash in the pan - 1994 AL Rookie of the Year Bob Hamelin, he who stole the award from Manny Ramirez, promptly comes to mind. 3 out of 4 Yankees' minor leaguers who have a good game and thereby become featured on for days also fall into this category (Joba Chamberlain, you're on notice).

But mediocrity has another, far more special, category. These players are truly special as they have a skill that propels them above their peers. And yet they simply cannot even come close to being adequate in other skills. This combination relegates them to the pile of the especially mediocre.

The true exemplar, the very torch-bearer of Mediocrity in baseball, is Russell Branyan. Russell actually has the distinction of being one of the most extreme players in two categories: sheer power and whiffing.

Branyan's towering blasts to deep left, really deep center, and really, really deep right are the stuff of legend. It is almost appropriate to squint just a bit when you look at his name and intentionally confuse him with Paul Bunyan. Like this hero of tall tales, Branyan can swing the big lumber. If chicks dig the long ball, they cannot resist Russell.

Sadly, such power does not come without a price. Like Midas, whose golden touch led to his downfall, Branyan's singular ability to crush a tiny ball of cowhide and yarn farther than any human alive is both his blessing and his curse. For in taking his mighty cuts, Russell Branyan strikes out at an unbelievable rate. In his career, Branyan has recorded 1829 official at-bats, and he has struck out 735 times. That averages for a strikeout per at-bat ratio of 0.402, or 2 out of every 5 at-bats. Compare that, for instance, to the 2007 AL leader in strikeouts (as of this post), Grady Sizemore who, in addition to being a far more complete player than Branyan, has 124 Ks in 475 at-bats, or 26% of the time. Contrast it with current player David Eckstein (1 in 20) or former player and Boston whipping-boy Bill Buckner (1 in 21).

In fact, Branyan is at the complete opposite end of the spectrum from these choosy swingers on the Lowest K ratio of all time list. Branyan's career strikeout average is worse than the NL single-season record, and very close to the AL.

There are uses for this, er, skill. Recently, the Cleveland Indians launched MLB's first green stadium initiative by installing solar panels at The Jake. It is rumored that Philadelphia, who picked Branyan up last week, is hoping to hook him up to a generator, allowing this wind machine to power the stadium lights.


posted by Pedro Cerrano @ 20:37, ,'s just so bleh

As hinted earlier this week, We Rite Goode is now officially mediocre.

Well, this time it's intentional.

Yes, August is the lousiest of months, and our riters plan to celebrate the lousiest of professional athletes along with it. We're going to think of our favorite Paul Sorrento and Kevin Duckworth memories; our Ron Mercer and Cam Janssen crushes will be fully aired. We may even share pictures of our Eric Bieniemy throwbacks.

Now, we admit that mediocrity is certainly relative; guys who've made it to the pros are obviously among the elite of the elite. But there's still a big, Cooperstown-sized difference between having, say, Roberto Alomar or Jeff Reboulet as your starting second baseman.

So feel free to join us as we go on this magical, memory tour. Tell us why we need to write about Bam Morris or Jeff Tarango. But know this: We're staying away from the terrible players who may have lucked into All-Star spots (cough, cough Scott Cooper) or ESPN gigs (do I even need to link here?). And while we really want to expound on the mediocrity of Chris Smith that annoying kid who played on our little league team, we'll just stick to mocking the professionals--we figure, they've got whole careers of proving they can take it.


posted by Crucifictorious @ 20:10, ,


Let me guess: You're bored.

"That clock is going to keep ticking until it reaches 999."

"What happens then?"

"Nothing. You just suck."


posted by Crucifictorious @ 08:58, ,

Somewhere between a Kid's Choice and an ESPY

In the department of random, dated news: The Stephon Marbury interview.

The highlights, if you will:

"We always wanna win the trophy. We call that the shiney stuff...I shoot to win because I shoot to win. And that's it."

"My sister Stephanie, that's my namesake, that's what she is to me...that's my daughter name...she been praying for this forever and it finally happened yesterday when I kissed her, I felt her body and I felt her soul. I was delighted to be kissing her. I couldn't even cry because I knew they were gonna be happy tears so I was able to control them. You know, you really cry when you really bad stuff."

"Like this! Do it with me baby!" [While dancing over Mets highlights]

Sure, the video's circulated for a month, but hey, if the very classy Steve Weinman of Taking it to the Rack can break it down via a "live journal" just last week, we're comfortable talking about it here. Besides, the video's back in the news, sort of. But we'll get to that.

Now, we all got a kick out of Steph's antics. But Taking it to the Rack's Steve verges on anathema when discussing this new, crazy Marbury; he wonders aloud that "maybe Steph isn’t all that much different than a far less skilled Gilbert Arenas."

And to that, I say:

Preposterous. Look, not only is Arenas is twice the player that Fallen Starbury is, but when it comes to being a goofball, he's the au natural Aaron to Steph's boosted Bonds. Arenas has a proven track record all the way back to college; at Arizona, he was stealing light bulbs and setting off fire alarms to get a laugh.

Meanwhile, Steph's...not a prankster. The only thing he stole at Tech was the boosters' money, if they wanted him to stick around for more than a year.

Sure, give Marbury some dap for his $14 sneakers, his charity work, his up-from-Coney Island life story. And yes, we love his new habit of giving interviews under the influence. However, when he's not chemically enhanced, Marbury normally is a surly dude. Arenas=spontaneously hilarious. As I wrote to Steve, the two guys hardly belong in the same sentence.

But another, notable blogger's down with the Marbury interview. Gilbert himself. From his spot on today, Agent Zero bestows a coveted honor...well, I'll just let you read it.

Usually I give out awards at the end of the year, but somebody won the “Best Interview of the Century” award this summer. If you guys haven’t seen it, you need to search “Marbury interview” on YouTube. If you don’t think this is the best interview in history, something is mentally wrong with you. It was so good, I watched it 12 times just to make sure that what I was watching was actually real and I wasn’t imagining it.

He’s like, “I’m going to average 10 points, 11-12 dimes, four assists …” And I’m like, “What? Last time I checked, dimes and assists were the same thing.” Then he answers his cell phone in the middle of the interview. And at the end he just starts screaming, “Do it with me now! Do it with me!” I had to rewind it just to make sure it was really Stephon Marbury on there. So, I present Steph with the "Interview of the Century" Hibachi Award!

So, alas, Marbury and Gilbert *are* in the same sentence; Hibachi himself has seen to it. Thus, Steve, I eat my words. And they definitely don't taste as good as whatever Steph's been chewing on.

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posted by Doctor Dribbles @ 19:25, ,

Daniel Cabrera should be in pinstripes

As we slouch through We Rite Goode's official month of mediocrity (more on that later), it's fitting that the Orioles' Daniel Cabrera should return to Yankee Stadium and sort-of dazzle with a two-hitter.

Now, us few O's fans remember how Cabrera--who's not really inconsistent, just consistently unpredictable--nearly no-hit the Yanks on a magical late September '06 evening. Tonight was Cosa Salvaje's second straight dominating start in New York, or at least as strong as a 6 2/3 IP, 6 BB line can be.

Still, Yankee Stadium isn't especially pitcher-friendly, and the team's been desperate for effective starters, anywhere they can find them. This season, the Yanks have looked deep on the farm (Tyler Clippard and Matt DeSalvo), overseas (Kei Igawa), and even in the twilight zone (Carl Pavano), only to be disappointed at each turn.

If the trade deadline wasn't a factor, now would be the perfect time to turn around and try to deal Cabrera to a team he's dominated. But since it is, I don't think Cabrera would make it through waivers--some team would be seduced by his supposed upside and relatively thrifty price tag ($1.8M) into putting in a claim. Still, what's the worst that would happen if Daniel Cabrera became a Yankee? He'd own the Orioles in one start per year...and blow the game the other three times the teams meet? That's a trade I'd make in a heartbeat. The guy is a taller, slimmer, more talented version of Sidney Ponson. Let some other team bear the burden of unrealized potential.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 11:43, ,

Buccaneers, PowderPuff Posse standout Alstott to retire

Word out of Tampa Bay is that FB Mike Alstott will call it a career.

Man's got a lot to be proud of--a Super Bowl title, many awards, the ability to drive Redskins fans crazy. But I can only think back to the glory days of 2001-2002. No, not the Bucs' playoff season or Alstott's Pro Bowl appearance. Please, what a boring team to follow. Rather, it was the year when the powerhouse "PowderPuff Posse" rolled to a fantasy football title in the "Justice League," securing bragging rights among college housemates, not to mention a tidy little sum...we went to Sizzler for dinner.

OK: The Posse did have Peyton under shotgun and Tony Gonzalez catching passes. But it was Alstott's 10 rushing TDs--fitting, because we nabbed him in the 10th round--that shocked the league and carried us to the title.

So retire with pride, Mike. The Bucs may one day honor you with a ceremony or even a bobblehead, but you're already enshrined in our fantasy Canton.

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posted by Doctor Dribbles @ 13:50, ,

Who moved Dan Steinberg's cheese?

Record heat blazes through the greater Washington, D.C. area. The city reeks of baked concrete and other smells best unmentioned. Children are forced, against their better judgment, to break open fire hydrants and dance in the puddles. No fluid is spared from quick evaporation; Rita's Water Ice is now just Rita's.

Is this the work of an angry higher power, perhaps steaming us with his wrath?

Quite possibly.

On last week's Blog Show, Dan Steinberg--proprietor of the DC Sports Bog and occasional friend to We Rite Goode--failed to name an artisanal cheese of the week (skip to 8:40 for the offending dialogue).

Gasp! A shocking moment that rivals any snafu in public access TV history! Ken Sander, you're on notice. Consider that even Steinberg sit-in Littles summoned up "Nacho Cheese" during his week of hosting duty.

True, we at WRG did not always know what "artisinal cheese" was, nor know how to spell it. But lo, the segment is now a staple of our sports blog diet, not to mention cocktail patter. And if Steinberg doesn't give us the goods, how are we supposed to impress the We Rite Goodettes at restaurant week dinner tomorrow?

We're sure that Senor Bog has prepared a Jordan-like comeback for this week's Blog Show--perhaps there will be a Rocky-like training montage, with Steinberg walking the aisles of Whole Foods, forced to name cheeses at a moment's notice--but at the very least, WRG wants to save our hero future embarrassment. We've come up with a list of suggestions and matching analysis that Steinberg can quote from at a moment's notice, next time he goes all Sergio on 18.

(Although we're the first to admit: Our collective cheese mongering knowledge begins with American and ends with Cheddar. But, hey, we're not fancy ex-cheese buyers--just lowly riters who think Swiss is a fancy foreign import.)

String cheese
Playing with your food is always fun, and pulling string cheese apart never gets old. Plus, it's affiliated with a cool jam band, and that seemed to work pretty well for Eric Clapton and Cream.

While it seems like string cheese should just sell itself, given these many advantages we'd caution Steinberg not to recommend it too heartedly. Having sampled a bit this week, it's blander and saltier than we remember in our golden youth. This is no Gruyère, aficionados!

Kraft's macaroni cheese
Speaking of golden youth, we could not get enough of the mac and cheese mix back in the days when We Rote Just Oh-Kay. Mother Crucifictorious seemed like a cooking goddess, whipping this stuff up in mere minutes!

Several decades and college loans later, we realized how easy we let her have it. Try eating this scarily orange cheese today; pardon the pun, but it tastes like a load of Kraft. Senor Steinberg, perhaps only use this in an especially dire instant.

Chuck E. Cheese



Moving on.

One of man's great desserts.

It often comes with a coulis.
Although, perhaps too good for an artisanal cheese. Seriously, who actually orders the cheese plate over the cheese cake?

Grilled cheese
There's just something about grilled bread and warm melted cheese that always gets us in the gut. Plus, you can make it in a Foreman, which is about the manliest thing that you can ever do when it comes to cheese.

There isn't much downside to the grilled cheese. It packs easily; it's got a lot of texture; it covers 18 essential daily minerals and nutrients, including vitamin A (for awesome). Grilled cheese may not be flashy, what with no "edible ash" or other bling, but it's dependable, flexible, and long-lasting. The Tim Duncan of cheeses.

And the Blog Show is the Spurs of TV shows about blogs--they're a championship-level squad, consistently excellent. Or they're a bunch of dirty hackers who are boring to watch, I can't remember which way I was going with that metaphor.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 08:39, ,

To be filed...

In our Department of Misplaced Humor:, hoping to offer its own unique spin on the Barry Bonds' saga, has offered up an interview with Todd McFarlane, creator of Spawn and other children's toys of dubious value. McFarlane, in addition to sporting ludicrous-looking shirts, has bought several of the important home run balls of the Steroid Era.

Check out the title of their article before someone realizes how bad it is.

And on a side note, here's a more accurate connection between steroids and, er, "base"balls.

posted by Pedro Cerrano @ 14:12, ,

The Hibachi will roast you

It's a scandal that's rocked the Wizards. Folks around basketball are shaking their heads, clucking their tongues.

No, it's not Andray Blatche--please, dude's last week's news (although the financial problems were a revelation).

Front and center now is Gilbert's plagiarism. Man makes a funny shark joke, but all hell breaks loose when word comes that the joke's...stolen!! Somewhere, the Wizznutz sheds a tear.

Now, bloggers have to be careful on this sensitive issue. Certainly, WRG doesn't want to condone the lifting of unattributed material. We don't need a high score on the M Zone Wonderlic test to know it's bad form.

On the other hand...

As Agent Zero points out, we'd never heard of "Ian Edwards" or his shark joke before. And who hasn't stolen a joke, or at least tried to?

But Gilbert doesn't need my feeble defense--Hibachi burns all who would take him down a peg. Patrick McEnroe, you been served.

(Suggestion for ESPN. You know, PTI is filmed in DC--and why get P-Mac to co-host when you could ask our favorite son, the Black President?)

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posted by Doctor Dribbles @ 09:41, ,

Garnett in Boston? Wake me in October.

Everyone is always looking for the next trade on the horizon or the next big shakeup. For all of the hype that surrounded Allen Iverson's departure from Philadelphia, how many people actually paid attention to what he did in Denver?

This trend doesn't just exist in the NBA or just with trades. The NFL, NBA, and even the MLB drafts have all become big spectacles because people want to see what is next or what could be. By doing this, they don't focus on what is actually happening on the court or on the field. With regards to Garnett, it is undoubtedly exciting that he is going to Boston, and people talk now of how he will affect the chances for the Celtics.

But I wonder how long it will be until that is forgotten for the next rumor of a superstar on the move.

In reality, most of these rumors don't even turn into anything at all. Wasn't Kobe supposed to have been traded to about three different teams by now?

Rather than worrying about where he might go next, fans should simply enjoy him where he is. Anything else that happens to him should be taken as simply another bit of unexpected, additional excitement beyond his greatness on the court.

posted by Mr. Jay Tibbs @ 20:40, ,

Mark it down: November 2

So the NBA schedule is out and the Wiz are facing the new-look Celtics in the first Friday night game on ESPN next season.

It'll be the C's first regular-season game, so you know all of America will be tuning in. Well...all NBA fans in America, that is. Who are home on a Friday night. And take November basketball seriously.'ll be me, Simmons, and this guy. And who knows, that guy sounds pretty down on the C's-- he might make other plans.

I'm agreed with my co-bloggers--while the Celtics are much improved, it's far too early to start fitting them for rings, let alone Atlantic Division championship t-shirts. The team's depth is totally gutted, their current starting point guard can't make a jumper, and there's no guarantee an aging threesome that's never played together will make it through the season healthy.

So I'd like to think when the 'zards come to'll be a competitive game, at the least.

Of course, the remaining free agents supposedly now are flocking to Boston, Gary Payton couldn't shoot when he was a rookie either, and Garnett and Pierce are generally healthy young men. I could simply be jealous that the Wizards' vaunted big three of Gilbert Arenas, Caron Butler, and Antawn Jamison is now totally about everyone, it seems. Doesn't highest scoring trio in the land count for something?

Hey, 1.4% of America and I know what's up. Maybe they'll watch the game with me.

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posted by Doctor Dribbles @ 20:25, ,

Wizards possibly thrilled by player's morally questionable decision

Honestly, all I want to know is...does this mean we'll resign him on the cheap?

(But maybe it explains delays in getting the contract done...Andray Blatche, not a master negotiator. And no sense of his worth on the free market. A NBA basketball player...needing to pay for it?)

Washington Wizards forward Andray Blatche, a restricted free agent, was arrested early Thursday on sexual solicitation charges.

Blatche, 20, and a man identified in court documents as Gregory Palmer, tried to solicit sex from an undercover police officer, according to charging documents.

I know it's only trouble when you start comparing the relative wrondoings of potential crimes perpetrated by the athletic class. Still, of all the poor, criminal choices in the news could've been worse.

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posted by Doctor Dribbles @ 18:28, ,

That Boise sports blogger posting at 5 a.m. would corner the market

So Ballhype--the of sports blogs--is sharing truly fascinating survey results of sports bloggers: Their habits, their secret identities, even their boxer/brief preferences.

The survey drew 135 respondents--by my count, only 1% of the 10,000 amateurs and professionals who'd call themselves sports bloggers--so it's hardly representative. But considering that Ballhype is heavily trafficked by "serious" sports bloggers who are looking to network, promote their stories, and even make a little money...well, the study gets a lot more relevant.

A few quick observations jump out:

You know, I'd write more on the Ballhype sports blogger study, but it'd cut into that precious hour I spend on "activities related to my blog"...and I still need to read Deadspin today.

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posted by Doctor Dribbles @ 13:59, ,

But Bill Walsh did

Sadly, ex-49er coach and football guru Bill Walsh left us this week, although he lived quite a full life before passing.

The media and blogosphere haven't stopped eulogizing the guy since, and deservedly so. Walsh was a leader of men, innovator in the sport, and driver behind minority coach hiring.

But for all the praise I've seen this week, the many memories that are being shared, nothing comes close to realizing Walsh's true greatness...because Michael Lewis already captured him perfectly in his football book, The Blind Side.

Just as Lewis used Moneyball to address sabermetrics/market valuations in baseball, The Blind Side described how forward-thinkers looked for advantages in professional football; I'm guessing most of you read the book, but its biggest insight was into the passing game…the role of the offensive and defensive tackles, the emergence of the West Coast Offense.

As the West Coast Offense already has been discussed six ways from Sunday, not to mention copied, the book didn't have the same groundbreaking impact as Moneyball; the human story, too, kind of overwhelmed the football.

But Lewis revisits what we now forget: Walsh was a jeered and lonely innovator, his passing game nearly too far ahead of his time. His first two years as NFL coach were an unsurprising failure (8-24); that we currently associate him with glory and the NFL Hall of Fame largely owes to the 49ers ownership not firing him before year 3. Yet the team--or more appropriately, the league--remains in Walsh's debt for developing the passing game that makes the NFL so exciting today.

So, when mourning Bill Walsh, please remember--great coach, sure, but even greater mind.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 09:17, ,

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