Wishful thinking: NBA Southeast Division preview

If you've somehow missed all the NBA previews--or are simply jonesin' for more--top bloggers helped We Rite Goode boil the season down to a few catchy soundbites that can be used to impress at cocktail parties or keggers. After you've read our methodology here, take a spin with stars like Gil, Dwyane, and Dwight.

1. Miami Heat
Ben Go
, Thank You Isiah
[Editor's note: This was written pre-Ricky Davis/Antoine Walker trade.]
What they need to do to make me happy: Win 50 and the Southeast, Shaq actually plays 72 games or so, Jason Williams plays 75 games, Wade returns by the end of November, wins the MVP. Make the Eastern Finals, where they lose to Chicago. (Remember, I'm a Bulls fan now.)

Reasoning: Stuck with Shaq for 3 more years at $20 mil per, the goal has got to be to win everything now. As for Wade winning the MVP, if he's healthy (a big if), he's capable.

2. Washington Wizards
JakeTheSnake, Bullets Forever

What they need to do to make me happy: I'd like to see the Wizards get into the second round first and foremost, while you don't need a certain record to get to that level (see: Golden State Warriors) I'd like to see the Wizards get at least 47 wins. Anything above that is an added bonus in my book. This effort will be led in part by Andray Blatche who will take home M.I.P. honors this season (you heard it here first!).

Reasoning:
The Wizards can't continue to stay on the verge of being an elite team, this has to be the make or break year for this team. While I'll still take languishing as a also-ran in the playoffs over consistently being an out and out terrible team, I would much rather root for a winner.

3. Charlotte Bobcats
Brett
, Queen City Hoops

What they need to do to make me happy
: Win 40 games...or 41...or 39 - whatever winds up being the minimum needed to make the playoffs. Losing in the first round is perfectly acceptable, but winning a game at home would be nice. Additionally, seeing a Bobcat make the All-Star game would bring a smile to my face. Make it two, with Gerald Wallace on the team, and Emeka Okafor making it as Shaq's injury replacement.

Reasoning
: At this point, 4 years into Charlotte's second shot at NBA basketball, the natives are getting restless: We're ready for playoff basketball to come back to the city, as the Hornets had gotten us quite used to seeing some playoff games every spring. For the city to really embrace the new franchise, the team needs to start winning a bit more, and making the playoffs would be a great start. As far as the All-Star game is concerned, it is just time for Emeka and Gerald to be recognized as the outstanding young players they are (and it would bring more credibility to the team to have our best players acknowledged on such a stage).

4. Orlando Magic (Formerly The Orlando Tragic)
Black and Blue Jor, The Howeva Files

What they need to do to make me happy: To be honest, unlike most of the shitstorms that are in the NBA the Magic actually have high expectations this season. Anything less than the 2nd round playoffs will have all 4 of the total Orlando Magic fans in a huff. If they don't win at least 40 games and make the playoffs, it's time to burn Darko Milicic for witchcraft.

Reasoning:
The Magic spent a loooooooot of money this offseason, including robbing banks and actioning off illigitemate children of Patrick Ewing to sign Rashard Lewis. They also have been waiting a while to see what the deal is with Jameer Nelson and if they have more than a drunk white poet in JJ Redick.

5. Atlanta Hawks

Jay Busbee, Right Down Peachtree


What they need to do to make me happy
: Just show up to play every night…and don’t look up in the stands. The Hawks have the talent to make a little noise in the East, but that noise won’t be coming from the desolate Philips Arena seats. Best hope? 40-42, sneaking into the playoffs only to get waxed by the Boston Trifecta.

Reasoning: Joe Johnson’s a top-20 player, Josh Smith is a singular talent, and Al Horford and Acie Law should be in the running for All-Rookie First Team. This team could be a lot of fun to watch, and if the Hawks brass has any clue, they’ll cut them loose and turn them into Phoenix East.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 09:30,

3 Comments:

At October 31, 2007 at 12:39 PM, Anonymous Oobie said...

there is no chance Blatche will be most-improved. keep dreaming...

 
At October 31, 2007 at 9:30 PM, Blogger Doctor Dribbles said...

I don't know...nothing like a little criminal misconduct to bring out your best. Ray Lewis much?

 
At November 1, 2007 at 1:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Think you're underestimating the Hawks and definitely the Magic. Rashard Lewis looked really good tonight in that offense.

 

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