Getting real: NBA Central Division preview
Monday, November 5, 2007

If you've somehow missed all the NBA previews--or are simply jonesin' for more--top bloggers helped We Rite Goode boil the season down to a few catchy soundbites that can be used to impress at cocktail parties or keggers. After you've read our methodology here, finish off our team-by-team previews with a look at the mighty midwest match up between Motown and the Second City...to say nothing of a lurking LeBron.

1. Chicago Bulls
Ben Go, Thank You Isiah

Forget what I want them to do; here's what they will do: Happily, the Bulls should meet most of my great expectations. They will win 55 games. Luol Deng will make the All-Star team (not a lot of great 3s in the East), but Ben Gordon won't (a glut of good 1s and 2s.) As for the playoffs, sure, what the hell, they'll make the Finals.

Reasoning: Based on their points scored and points against, the Bulls should have won 55 games last year. Defensively, the Bulls match up well against the Celtics, with their lone Achilles' heel, the under-sized Ben Gordon, unlikely to be outmuscled by Rondo. (Oh, and by the way, Posey still sucks.) The Pistons, specifically Billups, remain a threat in that regard, but sooner or later, youth demands to be served. Unless Lebron goes absolutely, Jordanesquely apeshit (feasible, but not assured), I like Chicago.

As for the Finals, for now, I'd just be happy to be there. For now.

2. Detroit Pistons
Natalie Sitto, Need 4 Sheed

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: The Pistons will win 52 games, and end up Eastern Conference Champs. Jason Maxiell will turn heads this season and Rasheed Wallace will lead the league in technical fouls. Flip Saunders will be considered a good coach who has difficulty making adjustments in the Playoffs.

That said, don’t count them out.

Reasoning: This team has made the Eastern Conference Finals the past five seasons. Their core is still together, but nothing significant has changed to put them over the top, unless the Pistons youth astonish us.

3. Cleveland Cavaliers
The Cavalier, Yaysports!
[Editor's note: The Cavalier was tied up at the last-minute with a certain movie he's working on, so gave us the OK to just adapt an earlier NBA preview].

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: 51 wins, but we’re apathetic about this team and the season. While personnel is a problem, the bigger problem was getting an offensive system in place, which could’ve been done but wasn’t (As far as we can tell so far).

Reasoning: Publicly, the Cavaliers want to win a championship. Privately (and none of them will say it out loud or to each other), they’ll feel lucky to get back to the Finals. They had an easy road, the only good (ie watchable) basketball they played all year was the Spurs game in November and the Pistons series. But as always, if LeBron decides he wants to go hardcore, all predictions are voided. The man can do anything when he decides he wants it, and everyone else falls in line.

4. Indiana Pacers
Cornrows, Indy Cornrows

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: Win 42 games and sit on the fence of the playoffs. Health issues have been an annual problem, so a few key injuries into the equation keeps the Pacers in the NBA's no man's land.

Reasoning: Jim O'Brien has had a great impact on the culture and style of play already. But they will run at a talent deficit in many games, so if a few injuries pop up to further increase that deficit, they can still play hard but end up not winning enough to make the playoffs now that the Eastern Conference has more contenders than playoff spots available.

5. Milwaukee Bucks
Frank, BrewHoop.com

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: Win 40 games, battle for the 8 spot and get annihilated in the first round. If they get there.

Reasoning: The Bucks have plenty of young talent, and the return of Simmons and Mason should provide a veteran boost. But while Mo, Bogut, Villanueva and Yi all have star "potential," at least two of them will need to get there in a hurry if the Bucks want to become real contenders in the improved East. Combine the uncertainty of the team's youth with the continued threat that Bobby Simmons' foot will fall off, and it's clear Krystkowiak will be earning his paycheck if the Bucks return to the postseason.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 08:23, ,


Wishful thinking: NBA Central Division preview
Friday, November 2, 2007

If you've somehow missed all the NBA previews--or are simply jonesin' for more--top bloggers helped We Rite Goode boil the season down to a few catchy soundbites that can be used to impress at cocktail parties or keggers. After you've read our methodology here, finish off our team-by-team previews with a look at the mighty midwest match up between Motown and the Second City...to say nothing of a lurking LeBron.

1-T. Chicago Bulls
Ben Go, Thank You Isiah

What they need to do to make me happy: Win 55 games and the Central Division. Should they meet in the Playoffs, finally vanquish (and preferably humiliate) the Detroit Pistons. Make the NBA Finals. Ben Gordon and Luol Deng make the All-Star team.

Reasoning: Last year, the Bulls won 49 games, and with their young core maturing, no significant personnel losses and the addition of Joakim Noah, improvement is to be expected, nay, demanded. Another playoff loss to the Pistons would be devastating, casting into serious doubt the patient (not to say pussified) strategy of GM John Paxson in failing to trade for a bona-fide All Star. I currently endorse this strategy, but another bouncing by Sheed and the boys would send me careening wildly into mindless, petty-resentment-filled blatherings, a la Jay Marriotti.

1-T. Detroit Pistons
Natalie Sitto, Need 4 Sheed

What they need to do to make me happy: The Pistons need to win at least 55 games, and the NBA Championship. Amir Johnson and Jason Maxiell will have breakout seasons. Tayshaun Prince will finally make the All Star team. Sheed and Flip Saunders are going to become such good friends that they are going to be roomies on the road.

Reasoning: The Pistons have had the team and the pieces in place to win the NBA Championship each season since they won it in 2004. Sheed, Rip, Chauncey, Tayshaun and McDyess are a hell of a starting five no matter who you ask and the bench is more solid than in seasons past.

3. Cleveland Cavaliers
The Cavalier, Yaysports!
[Editor's note: The Cavalier was tied up at the last-minute with a certain movie he's working on, so gave us the OK to just adapt an earlier NBA preview].

What they need to do to make me happy: 51 wins, but perhaps they could also give over 60% effort for more than one playoff series - that way they’ll be better AND I won’t have to boycott watching them for over half the season like 06-07.

Reasoning: I’m not entirely thrilled to have the same team back, but I’m also realistic enough to know there wasn’t much to be done. Danny Ferry has shown that he’s not going to just go spend the MLE and sign guys like Sasha Pavlovic and Anderson Varejao simply to appease message board posters, bloggers, and ESPN columnists. They’ll look to improve on last year through improvement of young players (LBJ, Boobie Gibson) and the idea of having a team that knows each other, ie chemistry.

4-T. Indiana Pacers
Cornrows, Indy Cornrows

What they need to do to make me happy: Win 45 games, make the playoffs and deliver at least a competitive playoff series. Also, I'd like to see a strong effort consistently and a more entertaining style of play, with Jermaine O'Neal staying healthy and playing at an All-Star level.

Reasoning: Despite all of the drama last year, there was enough talent to be a playoff team until several injuries destroyed those chances. Jim O'Brien brings an uptempo style that will improve the pace of play and then entertainment value. If Marquis Daniels stays healthy, he will stun people this year and be a strong Sixth Man of the Year candidate.

4-T. Milwaukee Bucks
Frank, BrewHoop.com

What they need to do to make me happy: The maturing triumvirate of Mo Williams, Michael Redd and Andrew Bogut leads the Bucks to 45 wins and the second round, shocking all the experts who do their best to ignore the Bucks' existence. Larry Krystkowiak brainwashes the Bucks into playing defense, rebounding from time to time and getting their bigs more involved offensively. Yi Jianlian shows flashes of greatness while managing to hold his own on both ends.

Reasoning: Getting Redd, Mo, Bogut, Bobby Simmons, and Charlie Villanueva healthy along with the additions of Desmond Mason and Yi means the Bucks can actually field a team this year. The other Coach K looks like he could be a less ornery, slightly less bald Scott Skiles, which is exactly what a team as defensively atrocious as the Bucks needs. Andrew Bogut looks ready to break into 15/10, marginal all-star territory.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 16:11, ,


Getting real: NBA Southeast Division preview
Wednesday, October 31, 2007

If you've somehow missed all the NBA previews--or are simply jonesin' for more--top bloggers helped We Rite Goode boil the season down to a few catchy soundbites that can be used to impress at cocktail parties or keggers. After you've read our methodology here, take a spin with stars like Gil, Dwyane, and Dwight.

1. Orlando Magic (Formerly The Orlando Tragic)
Black and Blue Jor, The Howeva Files

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: I forsee good things, like winning the Southeast Conference with a 48-34 record. Yes, really.

Reasoning for above: The Magic did something unheard of in their crappy non-existent history: they actually retained a superstar. Not only did they resign Dwight Howard, they somehow managed to pry another star in Rashard Lewis from the Sonics and retained all of their other key players. Yes, Darko and Grant Hill, I said KEY players...not a chronically injured sub and a backup power forward. Couple that with a possible emergence of Jameer Nelson and you have the makings of a very solid team. By solid, I mean they are still something the Western Conference wipes their asses with, but solid nonetheless.

2. Washington Wizards
JakeTheSnake, Bullets Forever

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: Struggle out of the gates but then pick up steam, play marginally better defense and end up playing just above .500 ball for the season putting them somewhere between 4th and 8th in the conference.

Reasoning: If the preseason has been any indication (which it probably hasn't) Gilbert is still trying to get into a rhythm and the team will have to feel things out while adjusting to not having Etan Thomas' presence inside. After struggling throughout November and into December, Agent Zero will catch fire get the Wizards back in the hunt but won't have enough to get them into the elite in the East. All in all the Wizards will end up being better than last year's version but the improvement in the conference keeps the Wizards will keep that improvement from paying dividends in the win-loss column.

3. Miami Heat
Ben Go, Thank You Isiah
[Editor's note: This was written pre-Ricky Davis/Antoine Walker trade.]
Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: Possibly go .500 and sneak into the 8th spot. (The improved Orlando and Charlotte squads will vie for the Southeast.) But barring a simply remarkable performance by Wade, they'll be bounced in the first round.

Reasoning for above: This team is old (and its skin may be cold). Thanks to Shaq and Antoine Walker, their cap situation is a total wreck. And their lone youngster besides Wade and Haslem is Dorrell Wright, who hasn't looked good in the preseason, despite the fact that the starting SF job was his to lose. (He appears to have lost it, to Walker, no less.) Ah well, we'll always have 2006.


4. Charlotte Bobcats
Brett, Queen City Hoops

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: Win more games than last year...but not enough for it to matter. 37 wins sounds about right. Oh, and the Bobcats continue to get snubbed at the mid-season gala. And Rufus (the mascot) gets arrested for running a prostitution ring.

Reasoning for above: The team should be better than last year, having added another high quality player, Jason Richardson, to the mix. That brings the total to...4, but with 1 of them out for the year, Sean May. The rest of the pieces are ok, but when you consider that Okafor and Wallace are both injury risks, and the team's depth is still a bit shallow (I'm really enjoying the competition by 2 second rounders for the starting center position), this team is not quite ready to make a major jump. Crash and Emeka will continue to put up solid numbers that border on All-Star worthy, but come up a bit short yet again. As for Rufus? Well, have you seen him? It is just a matter of time.

[Editor's note: Plissken at the Buzzer also has some thoughts on Rufus. Not all of them good.]

5. Atlanta Hawks
Jay Busbee, Right Down Peachtree

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: They’ll hit the thirty-win mark sometime in early spring and throw a rod. They’ll end up with 35 or so wins and get eliminated from the playoffs with a couple weeks left in the season. Again.

Reasoning: They’re still a young team, and Mike Woodson hasn’t yet proven to me that he can keep momentum going for an entire season. Plus, the West Virginia-family-reunion that is the Hawks’ knotted ownership situation means they can’t count on dealing for some stretch-run talent. Best-case scenario is above; worst-case is everybody gives up on the team and starts going for individual stats—which would make them fit in perfectly with the 2007 Falcons.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 12:22, ,


Wishful thinking: NBA Southeast Division preview

If you've somehow missed all the NBA previews--or are simply jonesin' for more--top bloggers helped We Rite Goode boil the season down to a few catchy soundbites that can be used to impress at cocktail parties or keggers. After you've read our methodology here, take a spin with stars like Gil, Dwyane, and Dwight.

1. Miami Heat
Ben Go, Thank You Isiah
[Editor's note: This was written pre-Ricky Davis/Antoine Walker trade.]
What they need to do to make me happy: Win 50 and the Southeast, Shaq actually plays 72 games or so, Jason Williams plays 75 games, Wade returns by the end of November, wins the MVP. Make the Eastern Finals, where they lose to Chicago. (Remember, I'm a Bulls fan now.)

Reasoning: Stuck with Shaq for 3 more years at $20 mil per, the goal has got to be to win everything now. As for Wade winning the MVP, if he's healthy (a big if), he's capable.

2. Washington Wizards
JakeTheSnake, Bullets Forever

What they need to do to make me happy: I'd like to see the Wizards get into the second round first and foremost, while you don't need a certain record to get to that level (see: Golden State Warriors) I'd like to see the Wizards get at least 47 wins. Anything above that is an added bonus in my book. This effort will be led in part by Andray Blatche who will take home M.I.P. honors this season (you heard it here first!).

Reasoning: The Wizards can't continue to stay on the verge of being an elite team, this has to be the make or break year for this team. While I'll still take languishing as a also-ran in the playoffs over consistently being an out and out terrible team, I would much rather root for a winner.

3. Charlotte Bobcats
Brett, Queen City Hoops

What they need to do to make me happy: Win 40 games...or 41...or 39 - whatever winds up being the minimum needed to make the playoffs. Losing in the first round is perfectly acceptable, but winning a game at home would be nice. Additionally, seeing a Bobcat make the All-Star game would bring a smile to my face. Make it two, with Gerald Wallace on the team, and Emeka Okafor making it as Shaq's injury replacement.

Reasoning: At this point, 4 years into Charlotte's second shot at NBA basketball, the natives are getting restless: We're ready for playoff basketball to come back to the city, as the Hornets had gotten us quite used to seeing some playoff games every spring. For the city to really embrace the new franchise, the team needs to start winning a bit more, and making the playoffs would be a great start. As far as the All-Star game is concerned, it is just time for Emeka and Gerald to be recognized as the outstanding young players they are (and it would bring more credibility to the team to have our best players acknowledged on such a stage).

4. Orlando Magic (Formerly The Orlando Tragic)
Black and Blue Jor, The Howeva Files

What they need to do to make me happy: To be honest, unlike most of the shitstorms that are in the NBA the Magic actually have high expectations this season. Anything less than the 2nd round playoffs will have all 4 of the total Orlando Magic fans in a huff. If they don't win at least 40 games and make the playoffs, it's time to burn Darko Milicic for witchcraft.

Reasoning: The Magic spent a loooooooot of money this offseason, including robbing banks and actioning off illigitemate children of Patrick Ewing to sign Rashard Lewis. They also have been waiting a while to see what the deal is with Jameer Nelson and if they have more than a drunk white poet in JJ Redick.

5. Atlanta Hawks

Jay Busbee, Right Down Peachtree


What they need to do to make me happy: Just show up to play every night…and don’t look up in the stands. The Hawks have the talent to make a little noise in the East, but that noise won’t be coming from the desolate Philips Arena seats. Best hope? 40-42, sneaking into the playoffs only to get waxed by the Boston Trifecta.

Reasoning: Joe Johnson’s a top-20 player, Josh Smith is a singular talent, and Al Horford and Acie Law should be in the running for All-Rookie First Team. This team could be a lot of fun to watch, and if the Hawks brass has any clue, they’ll cut them loose and turn them into Phoenix East.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 09:30, ,


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