Getting real: NBA Atlantic Division preview
Thursday, November 1, 2007

If you've somehow missed all the NBA previews--or are simply jonesin' for more--top bloggers helped We Rite Goode boil the season down to a few catchy soundbites that can be used to impress at cocktail parties or keggers. After you've read our methodology here, Meanwhile, every team in this preview post--save one--has hopes of the playoffs. Yes, we must be discussing the Atlantic division.

1. Boston Celtics
Steve Weinman, Taking it to the Rack

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: 57 wins, tops in the East, but sadly, they will be defeated in the Eastern Conference Finals when they run out of timeouts in the third quarter in successive losses in the final two games of the series.

Reasoning: You really need me to say it? Doc. Rivers.

2. Toronto Raptors
Marcel Mutoni, Slam Online/FanHouse

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: Barring serious injury to Bosh or Bargnani, this team will win 45-50 games in the East and cruise into the post-season.

Reasoning: I truly believe - due to reasons stated above - that making the Playoffs for the Raptors is a given in 2008; what they do once they get there (and who they face) is where the real test begins. They should be able to snatch second place in the Atlantic division (first will go to Boston), and once the dust settles, they'll be one of the top 5 five teams in the suddenly-relevant East.

3. New Jersey Nets
Thum Chee Hang, Hooplah Nation

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: Win less than 41 games and prove John Hollinger correct. Lottery time = OJ Mayo?

Reasoning: Rj and J Kidd land themselves into injury land agan, Krstic's recovery rate is slower than the word slow. Slow start just like the past few seasons.

4. New York Knicks
Mike K., Knickerblogger.net

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: The Knicks will probably win 37 games and miss the playoffs as Zach Randolph & Eddy Curry escort opponents to the hoop. In an overcrowded roster Lee is barely able to match his minutes from last year, Balkman becomes lost on the bench. And Jerome James uses up a roster spot for 200 meaningless minutes.

Reasoning: New York has the Statue Of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Wall Street, and the U.N. We have museums, a million restaurants, and an efficient mass transit system. We're not on any major fault lines, there are no active volcanoes near by, and we rarely have hurricanes or tornadoes. God has to find some way to punish us.

5. Philadelphia 76ers
Jon Burkett, Passion & Pride/MVN Basketball

Forget what they need to do; here's what they will do: 30-34 wins, miss the playoffs and lose the draft lottery, no beard for Korver, Lou Williams plays 18-24 minutes, Alan Henderson signs several 10 day contracts, and Iguodala averages 19-20, 5, 5, 2 and misses out on an all-star berth.

Reasoning: Billy King is still the general manager. It has a trickle-down effect throughout the organization. This is an evaluation year for everybody. The question then becomes, who is making the evaluation? The fans can be harsh in Philly. It will be another trip to mediocrity for the Sixers.

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 15:20, ,


Wishful thinking: NBA Atlantic Division preview

If you've somehow missed all the NBA previews--or are simply jonesin' for more--top bloggers helped We Rite Goode boil the season down to a few catchy soundbites that can be used to impress at cocktail parties or keggers. After you've read our methodology here, Meanwhile, every team in this preview post--save one--has hopes of the playoffs. Yes, we must be discussing the Atlantic division.

1. Boston Celtics
Steve Weinman, Taking it to the Rack

What they need to do to make me happy: In some regards, they already have, simply by initiating a culture change this off-season and making the team relevant again. But basketball-wise, this team needs to win a title, plain and simple.

Reasoning: Yes, it's lofty, especially with San Antonio, Phoenix and Dallas showing no signs of slowing down. But when you mortgage your future -- most especially fifteen years of Al Jefferson and this year's number five pick -- you have to be putting yourself in a position to make a legitimate run at a title. That's all there is to it.

2. Toronto Raptors
Marcel Mutoni, Slam Online/FanHouse

What they need to do to make me happy: 45-50 wins and a tightly contested series in the second round of the Playoffs. Considering the talent, coaching, and experience on this team, this is a completely reasonable request. In fact, I just hi-fived myself for being so reasonable and level-headed.

Reasoning: Dino-Bosh is on the cusp of superstardom (Chris, this means you have to stop using public transportation. That's for mere mortals, my man); Bargnani is a cold-blooded assassin; Sam Mitchell has everyone's respect; the GM is not only a Euro-finding genius, but the man is damn good dresser; and it's important to keep in mind that this team came within one botched last-second play of forcing the much-more experienced Nets into a game 7 in last year's Playoffs. They're ready to take the next step.

3. New Jersey Nets
Thum Chee Hang, Hooplah Nation

What they need to do to make me happy: Win more than 45 games and make the conference finals at least, skin the Knicks during the regular season, and waive Jason Collins (impossible tho)

Reasoning: Three straight years of conference Semis, and I've had enough of it. It's either Finals or bust.

4. New York Knicks
Mike K., Knickerblogger.net

What they need to do to make me happy: A winning season and a Game 6. David Lee wins 6th man of the year. Renaldo Balkman earns the small forward starting role. Oh, and Jerome James gets cut.

Reasoning: Knick fans have suffered 6 straight losing seasons, 100 million cap jokes, Howard Eisley, a sex scandal, and Stephon Marbury's YouTubisms. To be happy I want a winning season, and some playoff excitement. I don't want to just make the playoff, because I still remember when the Nets kicked the Knicks (and Tim Thomas) in the ass in 2004. Lee would be starting for a half dozen NBA teams, and Balkman is a defensive force on a team starving for defense.

5. Philadelphia 76ers
Jon Burkett, Passion & Pride/MVN Basketball

What they need to do to make me happy: At least 1 win, team misses the playoffs and wins the draft lottery, Kyle Korver grows a killer beard (beards are in!), Lou Williams plays 30+ minutes per game, half the roster gets dealt for a legitimate power forward, and we keep Iguodala and he averages 20+ points, 6+ rebounds, 6+ assists, and 2+ steals in earning himself an All-Star berth in New Orleans.

Reasoning: Let's be honest, expectations haven't been this low since Shawn Bradley was anoited savior of the franchise. Unlike the dismal teams of the mid-90s, this team can actually look spectacular in losing games. So, if we must lose, let's lose in style and go for a lottery pick!

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posted by Crucifictorious @ 11:39, ,


Re: "If you could be GM of any lottery team..."
Sunday, September 30, 2007

My favorite part of the EA Sports games isn't the games. Honestly, I never get the guys who camp in front of the TV for weeks on end, playing Madden by themselves. Doesn't beating the computer by 30 get old?

Instead, it's building a team--growing the Raiders into a juggernaut, or transforming the Charlotte Bobcats into contenders--that hooks me (or at least did, back when I had the time).

So of course, I'm fascinated by this very interesting post by Steve Weinman over at Taking it to the Rack. (Ok, full disclosure: Steve kindly spent the entire post answering my question: "Pick among last year's non-playoff teams and build a contender within three years.") His choice--the Bobcats, the newest team in the L, but still the only franchise never to even sniff the playoffs, let alone make a run. Not the first team most of us would pick.

But you know what? Steve's buying Charlotte stock at the right time. The Bobcats have 1) a young, talented core; 2) aren't in the West, which should continue to be awful competitive across our self-imposed three-year window; and 3) have the three offensive cogs that most good teams need to compete (Gerald "next MJ" Wallace, Jason "next MJ" Richardson, and Emeka Okafor).

However, who takes the shot at the end of the game? Wallace? Every good team needs that closer and I don't know who's it on the 'Cats. Guess Sam Vincent's got three years to figure it out.

Other nice chips include Sean May (who's been great, if injured), sweet-shooting Matt Carroll, and sweet-hair-product-using Walter Hermann.

Of course, the team's backcourt is weighted down by bricklayers Adam "Che" Morrison and Ray Felton. Steve's plan to move Morrison is a great, if fanciful, idea, but he oversells Felton, whose 39% career shooting percentage terrifies me, and who didn't really improve between his rookie and sophomore years, other than boosting his PT.

And I don't buy that Gilbert Arenas or Shawn Marion would relocate to Charlotte. (Steve, have you been to Charlotte? Place is sleepy. I'm getting tired just thinking about it.) If anything, if the Bobcats want an impact free agent, they should hope that a local college legend--maybe an aging Antawn Jamison type or even a Carlos Boozer--comes home to relive glory days.

Still, a solid selection. Which shames me...in asking the question, I hadn't really though through who I'd choose. Also, like most bloggers, it's not as if I have any special basketball knowledge. Sure, I can pick others apart no problem. But I'm no expert on the L. The further I get away from high school basketball camp, the less I know.

So, relying on my mere fandom as a guide, the Hornets are the easy answer, the Celtics are the real easy answer, and--since Steve's removed Portland from discussion, while another commentator argued for the Hawks--I guess I'm taking...the Bucks. Almost unbelievably so. But perhaps it was fated to be.

A few caveats though. Namely, I hate half their roster.

Desmond Mason isn't worth $5M a year. Bobby Simmons also isn't worth $5M a year--which makes his $9M salary some kind of crime. Royal Ivey is cheap at $750k, but isn't anything special on D and couldn't score at the Bunny Ranch. And so on.

That said, the Bucks hook me because of one guy: Andrew Bogut. He's a more athletic, less dominant Yao Ming. What can I say--ever since Hakeem, I've loved the good-passing big man...and Bogut is downright Walton-esque at times. He's still young enough to build around and is clearly an inspirational figure--you don't see Etan Thomas penning a letter to Dwyane Wade or LeBron James, do you? Guys flock to Phoenix to play with Steve Nash. The Euros will courra to 'Kee to commiserate with their truth-talker.

(Look, I don't know if I'd like Bogut, the person. But as a young big, you could do a lot worse).



Admit it, NBA fans: The buzzworthy comments. The hairstyle. The blog fans. Mark my words, this year will be like the Takeover for Bogut. Only, it won't be, because Bogut hates dealing with the media. But if I was the GM, I'd brand the team around his cuss-worthy image. Market the heck out of his Australian connection--maybe work out a deal with Star TV to show the games overseas, if there isn't one already.

Anyway, it's not like Bogut's the only good chip for the Bucks. Their strength is currently in the backcourt, although Michael Redd is probably overpaid (sense a theme?), and so is Mo Williams. But Redd is about a solid a two-guard in the L and, as a great shooter in his prime, he shouldn't really diminish in value the next few years. Williams' performance is parabolically improving, so who knows--perhaps the Bucks get a few vintage Jason Terry years out of him. Charlie Bell seems like a total flake, but at $3M a year for a decent backup guard, he'd be a good bargaining chip if it didn't fly.

Going back up front, I like Charlie Villanueva a lot, actually. Scores over everybody, any which way. Yet clearly, a guy who needs motivation to play well so I'd start badmouthing him to sites like The Bratwurst; when he's in the crib, ego-googling, he'll be stunned by the amount of renewed draft-bashing ("#7 in '05? Over David Lee??"), TJ Ford-praise-singing ("Raps completely won that deal"), and misidentified C. Villanueva-bashing ("What an awful gopher ball to Nate McLouth--guy can't pitch a lick").

And maybe take out a billboard challenging his manhood, just to be on the safe side.

Then, there's a guy you may have heard about: Chairman Yi. The kid is taking a lot of flack. And you know what? He's not the next Nowitzki or Gasol. The guy is 22, let's not pretend otherwise. We know the Chinese athletic association is all about age-fixing. And 19 or 22, he looked real bad in summer league. If scuttlebutt has it, Yaroslav Korolev may not long set the standard for recent lottery busts.

But...what if...he's a contributor?

Is it that hard to imagine? Yao was 22 when he came over. Toni Kukoc was 25. Heck, Arvydas Sabonis was 53. All made the move--and thrived--and certainly none had the NBA-quality athleticism of Yi. He looked good against the Americans at the 2006 World's, too.

I'm holding out hope.

So: Bogut, Villanueva, Simmons, Redd, and Williams as my starting five. Gadzuric, Yi, Mason, and Bell off the bench.

Two years for that young core to gel--for Bogut's numbers to rise to 17/10. For Charlie V to emerge as a solid 18 ppg scorer. For Yi to become a more athletic Detlef Schrempf. For Mason's contract to expire and be replaced by a Marquis Daniels-type. For Redd to remain a dead-eye gunner.

Knock on wood, I like them to emerge from the 2009/2010 East. They'll just have to get by those pesky Bobcats first.

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posted by Anonymous @ 21:24, ,


Somewhere between a Kid's Choice and an ESPY
Wednesday, August 15, 2007

In the department of random, dated news: The Stephon Marbury interview.



The highlights, if you will:

"We always wanna win the trophy. We call that the shiney stuff...I shoot to win because I shoot to win. And that's it."

"My sister Stephanie, that's my namesake, that's what she is to me...that's my daughter name...she been praying for this forever and it finally happened yesterday when I kissed her, I felt her body and I felt her soul. I was delighted to be kissing her. I couldn't even cry because I knew they were gonna be happy tears so I was able to control them. You know, you really cry when you really bad stuff."

"Like this! Do it with me baby!" [While dancing over Mets highlights]


Sure, the video's circulated for a month, but hey, if the very classy Steve Weinman of Taking it to the Rack can break it down via a "live journal" just last week, we're comfortable talking about it here. Besides, the video's back in the news, sort of. But we'll get to that.

Now, we all got a kick out of Steph's antics. But Taking it to the Rack's Steve verges on anathema when discussing this new, crazy Marbury; he wonders aloud that "maybe Steph isn’t all that much different than a far less skilled Gilbert Arenas."

And to that, I say:

Preposterous. Look, not only is Arenas is twice the player that Fallen Starbury is, but when it comes to being a goofball, he's the au natural Aaron to Steph's boosted Bonds. Arenas has a proven track record all the way back to college; at Arizona, he was stealing light bulbs and setting off fire alarms to get a laugh.

Meanwhile, Steph's...not a prankster. The only thing he stole at Tech was the boosters' money, if they wanted him to stick around for more than a year.

Sure, give Marbury some dap for his $14 sneakers, his charity work, his up-from-Coney Island life story. And yes, we love his new habit of giving interviews under the influence. However, when he's not chemically enhanced, Marbury normally is a surly dude. Arenas=spontaneously hilarious. As I wrote to Steve, the two guys hardly belong in the same sentence.

---------------
But another, notable blogger's down with the Marbury interview. Gilbert himself. From his spot on NBA.com today, Agent Zero bestows a coveted honor...well, I'll just let you read it.

Usually I give out awards at the end of the year, but somebody won the “Best Interview of the Century” award this summer. If you guys haven’t seen it, you need to search “Marbury interview” on YouTube. If you don’t think this is the best interview in history, something is mentally wrong with you. It was so good, I watched it 12 times just to make sure that what I was watching was actually real and I wasn’t imagining it.

He’s like, “I’m going to average 10 points, 11-12 dimes, four assists …” And I’m like, “What? Last time I checked, dimes and assists were the same thing.” Then he answers his cell phone in the middle of the interview. And at the end he just starts screaming, “Do it with me now! Do it with me!” I had to rewind it just to make sure it was really Stephon Marbury on there. So, I present Steph with the "Interview of the Century" Hibachi Award!


So, alas, Marbury and Gilbert *are* in the same sentence; Hibachi himself has seen to it. Thus, Steve, I eat my words. And they definitely don't taste as good as whatever Steph's been chewing on.

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posted by Anonymous @ 19:25, ,


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